Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21-35

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 “The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,’ he begged, `and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.  He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 “Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,’ he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

The title of our message for today is “Forgiveness.” And I should say from the outset that the topic of forgiveness is too difficult, too profound, and too important in our lives to be covered with a short sermon. But our parable for today should at least give us a first step toward thinking about forgiveness.

In this story that Jesus told we have the following:

• A king who wishes to settle his accounts
• A servant who is called before the king with a huge debt that he cannot repay.
• When the servant begs for patience and mercy, the king has pity on him and grants it, forgiving his entire debt.
• This servant then goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him a relatively small sum of money.
• He demands payment, but when the servant begs for patience and mercy, he refuses and has him thrown into prison.
• Word of this gets back to the king, who calls the first servant in again.
• The king is angry saying “I forgave your huge debt….shouldn’t you have shown mercy and forgiven your fellow servant who asked for it?” …in the end, this servant is thrown into prison.
• Jesus ends the story with a warning to his listeners that God would treat them in the same way if they didn’t truly forgive others.

While this parable has had many different interpretations throughout history….I think that it is safe to conclude the following:

• The king represents God, our heavenly Father
• That in the story “debts” can be seen as sin or sins
• The first servant is unexpectedly, and mercifully, granted complete forgiveness for his huge debt, just as we have all been graciously and mercifully forgiven our debt of sin by God.
• However, rather than mirroring the king’s mercy, this servant then goes out and demands payment from a fellow servant for a small debt.
• Thus, the parable pictures the magnanimous grace of God in forgiving our great debt of sin, and the need for those of us who have experienced this forgiveness to mirror that mercy and forgiveness in our own relationships and lives. Failure to do so will not only bring consequences, but will prove that we have not really experienced that forgiveness for ourselves.

Put simply, we must forgive others…just as we have been forgiven.

We are reminded of Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”　

So I don’t think it would be a misrepresentation of this parable for me to preach to you this morning: “Let’s all go out this week and be better at forgiving each other.” There’s nothing wrong with saying that….or becoming more forgiving. But it’s not the message I want to leave you with today.

And that’s because forgiveness can be hard. And forgiveness can be complicated. And we often misunderstand what it even means to forgive someone.

• Forgiveness is NOT denial – pretending that an offense did not really happen, or that it didn’t really cause damage or brokenness, or that we just need to let “bygones be bygones”  In that sense, forgiveness is just the starting line to a much longer process.
• Forgiveness is NOT the same as healing…or reconciliation. Healing can take years! And reconciliation with an offender can often be impossible.
• Each of us can think of times that we were hurt by others, or imagine the many situations we read about or see on the news: violence, murder, rape, sexual abuse…war – and so forth. Are the victims of these crimes really expected to forgive their offenders? When we think of the 78 years that Israel has fought with its neighbors in the Middle East, do we honestly think that Palestinians and Jews will wish….or even be able to consider forgiveness as a solution? Will the Hatfields and McCoys really want to end their feud….and consider sitting down together for a reconciliation?!
• How do we balance the difficulty and the seeming impossibility of forgiveness with the very real demand that is made in this parable? And what about the Lord’s prayer. “Forgive us our debts…..as we have forgiven our debtors.” This is serious stuff!

So now, let me get to the message that I would like to leave you with. And this will NOT solve all of our questions or issues:

In my study for today I came across several statements that make sense to me. Here’s one:

“Forgiveness is not primarily God’s expectation of us, but rather, first of all, it is God’s gift to us.” 

In other words, maybe the parable is not primarily saying “You need to learn how to forgive like the king forgave”….. but instead, “You must first truly experience God’s forgiveness before you will be able to live in that posture…..and to mirror that mercy and forgiveness to others.” Here is another similar phrase:

“Forgiveness is not effectively received unless it is shown, for God’s forgiveness transforms.”

The ability to forgive is not something we cook up and create for ourselves….but is the natural result of truly experiencing forgiveness ourselves. When we have experienced it deeply, we will begin to mirror it. And a final phrase:

“Forgiveness not shown….is forgiveness not known.”

So in this parable, rather than immediately try to identify with the king’s unlimited grace and forgiveness, hoping that we can learn to mirror that…..perhaps we should simply try to identify with that first servant. His problem was NOT that he went out and demanded payment from another servant. He probably had the legal “right” to do that. His sin was that he had been so profoundly and mercifully forgiven….his life was suddenly and dramatically changed…and yet he hadn’t noticed. And because of that, it had not transformed him or changed him in the least.

So this week, before we attempt to improve our “forgiveness game”, why not take time to truly contemplate, to bask in, to pray for insight into the unlimited love, mercy, and forgiveness that has been given to us by our heavenly Father? Could we start there?

Then, with God’s grace, and through the work of the Holy Spirit, we may, little by little, be transformed into people who can imagine forgiveness and even mirror it.

(the above is a summary of the message shared during worship on Setember 13, 2026.)